Realisation

Ever wonder how God answers prayers?? I always wonder whether my prayers will be heard by God or whether my prayers will just go in vain because i'm not a person who prays frequently. The time when i spend most in prayer will either be during exams or when i'm really desperate for help. I always lack that perseverance to pray, and when i do pray, i always whine to God about how bad my life is, question God when this misery will end.......... I complain, complain and complain and i just cant wait for all these " bad things" to end.

This morning i said a prayer while on my way walking to my classroom. I asked God to guide me through this path that i've chosen because i really do not have the motivation and strength to carry on anymore. I often think that what happened to me is the worst thing that can ever happen and the more i think the more i feel that i'm as useless as nothing.

I lost confidence in myself , looked down upon myself and my self esteem went down. Even though how hard i tried to motivate myself, after a while the initial hype will die down and i'll be back to the person who cries herself to sleep.

I despise this Sabrina. I hate showing to the world that i'm okay on the outside, joyful and always laughing but in fact i'm eating myself up with all the negative thoughts i put into my mind when i'm alone. I always ask people to pray for me, but i'm not praying for myself and doing anything to turn this whole thing around. All i do is to wait for people to pray for me and for God to work His miracle in my life.

God always works in ways we humans cannot understand and comprehend. God may not have turned my situation around but He let me realised that i am indeed blessed and fortunate than so many people in the world.

I may not have the brightest mind but God gave me passion to reach for my ambition.
I may not have the nicest body shape but God gave me good health.
I may not have a lot of money but God gave me a nice house to stay.
I may not have perfect parents but God gave me parents who love me unconditionally
I may not have what i want but God gave me a promise that His plan for me is always the best.

And guess how God spoke to me?? Through this quote that i saw from my friend's blog.


I believe its not pure coincidence that i saw this quote, but i choose to believe that God is speaking to me through these meaningful quotes.

I want to write it all down here because i want to remember today, that i once wrote something about the goodness of God so that when i'm lost in the future, i can find strength and courage from the past Sabrina.

From today onwards, i want to move on. I do not want to delve deeper and deeper into my problems. I want to set myself free. I want to be able to say proudly in the future that i'm an overcomer. I'm not a failure and i'll never be a failure.

And i believe in rainbow after the rain

So jia you Sabrina Leong, never let this passion in you die down and remember what you've wrote here today.

And remember to pray, pray and pray. For in prayer there comes miracles.